love hina:american psycho
by Never giveguns 2 chimps
Summary: an old friend of Kritaro comes to visit,i know very overused plot,but this O.C. is different trust me, not one of those dumb preety boys that are perfect and stuff. rating may change for language. mentions of MMA so and vilolence in later chapters. review
1. Chapter 1

Yep, got nothing, no reason at all, got bored and couldn't sleep one night and this is what I did

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It was a day just like any other in the hot spring town of Hinata, it was around mid-day on a beautiful spring Saturday, the sky was clear and blue, children played and people went by doing what they had to do nothing out of ordinary

"**Keitaro" you baka-hentai" **

Yep, nothing abnormal here, nope no sir

The battle cry for one Naru Narusegawa was heard all throughout the hinata girls dorm, as the dorms manager was thrown threw entire walls of the compound and landed abruptly in his Aunt Haruka's tea shop crashing threw a table with a load thud.

This of course didn't surprise said aunt as this and similar things happened a lot to her nephew, she took a short puff of her cigarette and gave her nephew a bored look and with a monotone voice said "peeked on Naru Again" putting more emphasis on the again part.

"You know that those times were all just misunderstandings"

"So what did you do this time" she asked in an exasperated voice as if saying she was getting to old to be dealing with all these immature antics

"I went into naru's room to ask if she had any laundry that needed to be done, and when I went in she was changing and well you know the rest"

"I am really getting sick of all this, will you two just screw each other and get all this sexual tension you two have over with" Haruka says while lighting up another cigarette, I mean come on it's so obvious what's going on between them it's almost sickening.

b-b-bu-but-t I d-don't know what you're talking about" Keitaro was so embarrassed and was blushing so hard he was having trouble making complete sentences

Haruka was going to say something else when the phone rang; she got up and walked to the counter where the phone was

"Hello, Hinata Teahouse, Haruka speaking how can I help you" Haruka said while taking another puff of her cigarette

"Is Kenny there?" a deep voice came from the phone, a voice that Haruka believed sounded very familiar to her but just couldn't place her finger on who it belonged to

"Excuse me"

"Oh sorry is Keitaro there?"

"Who should I say is asking?"

"Just say its big boy; he'll know who it is"

Haruka gave Keitaro the weirdest look, a cross between "what the hell do you do with your free time" and "I can't believe we are related"

"Ahhhhhhhh yeah ummmmmm Big Boy wants to talk to you" Haruka said with uneasiness dripping from every word she said

As soon as Keitaro heard "big boy" he gave an tired sigh and heaved himself up and then slowly walking towards his aunt and the phone, when he got there he took the phone and said "a little privacy please" with that Haruka slowly went towards the main dorm building to try and calm the tenets down while Keitaro had his conversation

As soon as she was gone Keitaro slumped down on a nearby chair "Tyler how in the blue hell did you get the teahouse number" Big Boy no identified as Tyler laughed

"You know me dude, I have my ways you weren't online I was trying to Aim you for the past 45 minuets"

"Sorry I was kind of busy wittth ssstuff"

"You got knock out by that Naru chick again didn't you?"

"Yeah"

"Remember when we were young and I protected you from the boys twice your size, I find it sad you're getting beaten up by girls now I mean way to go on that I usually I have to pay extra for that kind of crap"

"Funny Oh yeah and real smooth with the whole big boy thing, know my aunt thinks I have some creepy sugar daddy"

"You knows how I gots to be taking care of ma Beatchs"

"Please, _**never**_ speak like that again, you are Way to Irish"

"How would you know, aren't I the only non-Asian guy you know in your life?"

"True, but it doesn't change the fact that no one let alone you should ever talk like that"

"Yeah yeah yeah"

"Anyway even though I love to run up the phone bill talking to a guy on the other side of the planet…"

"Don't we all"

"Why'd you call?"

Your entrance exam was yesterday how was it? "

"

"….."

"I know this time you made it right, this time you were THE MAN"

"…."

"A MANLEY MAN who took no prisoners while fighting for his academic life"

"……"

"Man I am so proud of you man you finally achieved your dream, you…"

"…."

"You didn't get in did you?"

"Again nope"

This is what the 6th, 7th time?"

"It's only the third"

"Irregardless dude you promised me you were going to pass this time"

"I know I just got distracted from my studies"

"Distracted huh?"

There was silence after that; Keitaro wondered if he was still on the other line all of a sudden Tyler came back with a question completely out of left field

"Kenny Have you been ….masturbating?" he whispered the last part of the comment for no other reason but it sounded funnier

"No I haven't been masturbating I really was trying to study, but being manager and all the work involved can really tire a guy out"

"Yeah a young man with no girlfriend in charge of an all girl's dorm/ hot spring can really tire you out; I am just trying to help you before you go blind kenn…"

"I AM NOT MATURBATING" Keitaro yelled at the tops of his lungs, as red as a tomato after realizing that the entire dorm heard him"

"You know with all this screaming maybe you should have some "me" time"

"God I hate you"

"Whatever dude but that doesn't change the fact that you really have to study, if not for me but for your girl you promised to you always tell me about"

" I just don't know if I can sometimes"

their was another long pause but this one was serious, as if the voice on the other line was really putting a lot of thought in what he was going to say finally after a minute or two

"Well that settles it"

"Settles what"

"I'm coming for a visit "

"**What!!!!"**

"You heard me, I think it would be good to visit you, we haven't seen each other in person for years, I bet your still as scrarney as ever"

"This coming from the only guy I remember being taller then"

"That was a long time ago, I was a late bloomer, sue me"

"Do you think this is a good idea?"

"When haven't my ideas been good?"

"Remember that time when we were 11 and we played with those fireworks?"

"Of course! As an American it is my obligation to play with explosives on the 4th of July"

"You blew up some dudes truck'

"Hey he was a register sex offender; he wasn't even supposed to have a car of any kind, let alone a big white van like that, we did the town a huge favor"

"Just promise me those shenanigans of our youth is over, I don't want the town to go up in flames and also try not to embarrass me will you I can barely get any respect around here I don't want my last shred of dignity to fly out the window"

"Oh come on, if your not embarrassed by the fact that you're a near 20 year old virgin who gets his ass kicked by girls on a daily bases and is pretty much their live in cleaning bitch and who has failed three times to get into Tokyo U then nothing I do will ever make you blush"

"You're such a good friend" Keitaro said with sarcasm, though he had to admit his friend did have a point regarding his whole situation with the majority of the girls of the dorm

"Dude trust me on this, it the perfect plan, even if, me being there doesn't help you study I can and will do the grunt work around the place so you don't have to so you can study more. I got to go, works a callin in all, I'll call you back later to hammer the details I'll see you soon though. Peace"

With that he hung up leaving Keitaro to think about just what he got himself into, on one hand he'll get to be with a friend he hasn't seen face to face in almost eight years, on the other he doesn't want to know how the tenets are going to handle another guy living here.

After awhile he decided that, he was the manager and it was ultimately his and no one else who could make this decision and he really did miss his friend

He then left the room to tell the girls of his friends visit and mentally preparing for World war 3. While walking he couldn't help but to remember the first time he met Tyler almost 11 years earlier.

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Flash back

There were several young boys ranging from the age of 9 all the way up to12, they formed a circle around another boy who looked to be about 8 and had on a large pair of glasses. Yep Keitaro was always just so popular

The older boys were taking turns pushing the glasses wearing boy around in the circle, while this was going on the boys were shouting

"Four eyes"

"Geek"

Just the regular stupid things boys that age say about each other, one of the larger boys then struck the glasses boy in the face knocking him down to the ground, the strike also threw his glasses off

"Why are you doing this to me? "Keitaro pleaded with the children

"Because we were bored and you were smaller then us, that's just what happens when your weak" on of the older boys said

Just when the child was going to be kicked again, a figure came out of the corner of his eye running towards the group of children. Like a tornado of fists the figure who can now be clearly seen is a young boy is throwing punches in every direction possible not caring if they hit or not. This action reminded the young boy of the cartoon Tasmanian devil he saw on TV, Even as the other boys ran away screaming , the boy still continued to spin and spin until finally he stopped in front of Keitaro after about a minute. Keitaro then stood up to size the boy up.

The boy looked to be 7 years old but looked a bit smaller then other boys his age, making Keitaro feel a bit better about himself seeing as how their was a boy he was bigger then. He had scruffy, short dirty blonde hair, and blue eyes that seemed to be a little too big for someone his size, his skin was pale, very pale like someone who stays inside to much, he had on cargo shorts and a plain white T-shirt

Keitaro also noticed that the boy was to looking at him, after a couple of seconds of silence Keitaro decided to break the ice

"Thanks for helping me out"

There was no response from the boy, almost as if he didn't understand a word Keitaro had said .Keitaro then put out his hand to further the greeting

"My name's Keitaro it's nice to meet you"

The boy looked at his hand, the other word he seemed to know was Keitaro figuring that it was a name

The boy smiled and grasped Keitaros hand saying only one word "Tyler"

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End flashback

Keitaro stops in front of the dorms front entrance, when he heard a violent yell of impending doom and unrepressed rage

"this is going to SUCK so Bad"

END

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That's all I got right now, just a little something


	2. Chapter 2

"So when's his flight coming in" Haruka asked keitaro who was currently sitting at a table in the tea house studying, he looked as if he was in a small scale car crash with band aids and mediacal tape all over his body.

"In a few hours, since it's an international flight I have to be there a bit early so I'm about to take a taxi to pick him up in a little while, man this is going to be crazy"Keitaro said, at this the young ronin placed the text book he was currently reading down as if this was the first time he really began to relise that this was going to happen

"I guess it is, so that little twerp is really coming for a visit huh, he's probably as small as he ever was" Haruka said having a small chuckle, remembering how Tayler was kind of small for his age and at all the memories of him attacking the larger children when they tried to mess with him and keitaro

"I don't think he's as short as he was back then, I mean he's 18 now"Keitaro said, he's seen pictues of Tayler online that he has sent over the years, but he didn't want to tell his aunt that.

"Whatever he'll still be the same midget who loves to fight to me" Haruka

"Speaking of which, I'm actually a bit surprised that the girls weren't as violent as I thought they would be"Keitaro said

"You got punched through two walls by naru and repeatedly slashed by Motoko until you lost conciousness, what did you think they were going to do kill you?"Haruka said in a monotone voice

"YES I DID"Keitaro screamed** " **I mean come on did you hear mikoto yell**"**

"Yeah that did catch my attension _**"how dare you even think about bringing in some forigen beast into this dorm it's bad enough we have to deal with just one pervert but now two"**_ man that girl has a pair of lungs on her."

"I really thought I was done for,it was sure lucky you came to save me"

"I guess when you hear load crashes and screams of pain inside your home it's in your best interest to put a stop to it especially when your stupid nephew's involved, your just lucky that your grandmother called and the entire thing, you'ld think she liked that boy more then she liked you "Haruka said taking a little amusment in keitaros down cast look.

"she always said it was a lot of fun whenever he was around" Keitaro told his aunt

"no it was really noisey and with all those fights that boy would get into…ah screw it I missed the little guy" Haruka taking a puff of her ciggerette

"Yeah im sure he missed everyone calling him short too" Keitaro said with sarcasm

"Is that the reason why the two of you planned on his flight coming in while the girls were at school?" Haruka asked

"Yeah with the girls all trying to bite his head off I really wanted him to get settled in before all the drama started, the only thing was getting mitsune out the house for a few hours,by the way how did you do that?" Keitaro said, mitsune being the only girl in the dorm who didn't go to a school of any kind was the only person Keitaro needed a plan to get out of the inn for a few hours.

"Simple I gave her your ATM number and gave her some tips for the track" Haruka

"Funny now tell me what you really did"

"I just told you"

"OH COME ON"Keitaro screamed "Why would you do that"

"oh relax, she ran out, before I could tell her your code"

"how do you know my pin number anyway"

"your very easy to figure out, its obvious you would choose your birthday as your as your pin number"

"_am I really that easy to figure out_" Keitaro thought to himself

"I think it's about time we head to the airport"

"Wait your coming to?"

"Yeah i am, what of it, besides if he's anything like he was, he'll probally get into atleast three fist fights before he gets out of the terminal."

_**Scene change**_

"You're not concentrating hard enough"screamed motoko, as she was instructing several new kendo club members, all of the new members were all freashmen and still getting used to the harsh training that was involved in joining the cub.

If you want to make it in this club,you'll have to put everything you have into your training" shouted motoko at the group of girls around her

There were wispers of "She's so awesome" and "I wish I was just like her "and the like coming from hear and there

"Know I want you to use everything, concentrate and then strik" Motoko said

The girl listened carfully to motoko, and toned out everything else, when she felt completely at ease with herself she swung, it was much more fluid then before but still needed work but the important thing was she was improving

The space where the club met everyday was a large dojo on school ground set off exclusively for the clubs dojo was packed with girls about 20 or so upperclassmen as well as about 10 or so new recruits, all of them were wearing either wearing karate Gis or kendo garb,those in karate Gis were sparing with one another on one side of the dojo utilizing devistating strikes and judo throws on each other while on the other side several girls were practicing down ward swings and slashes with wooden swords.

Out of all the girls present,Motoko was the most experienced and talanted in both swordsmanship and unarmed combat so much so that the other girls looked u to her not only for being the very best but also because she was physically the biggest, standing 5 feet 9 inches tall she towered over all the other girls.

"Now keep on doing these practices I will return shortly I must speak with some of the senior members"with that moyoko walked towards a group of three girls about her age who were busy taking turns sparing with one another.

Sachiyo, Emi, Kikuko or as many from the school and of the town at large were known simply as Motoko's "fan club"all three of these girls are the most loyal of motokos followers, they seem to admire her not only because of her skills with the sword but also for her beauty, especially Kikuko.

The three girls stopped what they were doing as they saw motoko heading towards them, the leader of the group, Kikuko, noticed the look in motoko's eyes and decided to ask her what was wrong

"Motoko you seem upset what is wrong?"

"It's obvious what's wrong her vile male of a land lord is causing her miscomfort"

"That is excatly right, can you believe even now he dares to bring a secound male into the dorm?"

"That's awefull I feel especially bad for young children, they cannot protect themselves"

"Do not worry I will take care of this most dire problem later tonight and I will make sure that fool keitaro will neaver again dare to even think about letting a single man into the dorm."

_**Scene change**_

The airport that Keitaro and Haruka were situated at was as busy and as crouded as one would expect an airport terminal would be. In other words, it was mass chaos,with mobs of people coming from every direction, the masses quikly overwelming the pair as they made their way towards the correct terminal.

"_Flight 115 from JFK is now departing at gate 7"_ was heard from the load speacker

"is that it?" Haruka asked

it has to be lets go Keitaro

when the two get to the terminal the passengers of the flight were already leaving, most of them were middle aged bussiness men who looked like they wanted to go get plastered at the neasrest bar they could find a few familys that looked as if they came home from vacation but other then that no one the two could see stood out as Tyler

after a few secounds of waiting the two finnily saw something out of the ordinary, a teenager, either 17 or 18 years old walked through the gate and could only be described as being impossibly beautiful.,. His skin was "like marble" as it is very pale and looks as if it sparkles in the sunlight His facial features could be described as being perfect and angular—high cheekbones, strong jawline, a straight nose, and full lips, he looked for a man very feminan. His hair, which was messy yet stylized at the same time, had an unusual bronze shade and his eyes were a strange shade of green. He seemed tall by japanese standerds standing about 5 feet 11 inches tall and had a slender but muscular body.

He wore skin tight black jeans, and a pair of black tennis shoes as well as a white T-shirt and a leather jacket He carreid with him a guiter on his back

As he stood in front of the entrance he said as load and as eligently as he could " it is great to finnily return to the beautiful country of japan" after that he flashed a beautiful smile with his shining and perfect teeth

His apperence caused different reactions, for most of the females in attendence they were blushing with looks of awe on their faces, for the men they were either jealous of the lokks he was getting from the girls or wanted him tho shut his mouth.

Keitaro was a part of the group that wanted him to shut the hell up, while Haruka had the most horrified look on her face so much so the unlite ciggerette in her month feel out due to her jaw being opened out of complete horror and confusion.

"please for the love of any gods in excistance please do not make this person Tyler please if you have any mercy I'll forever be in your debt"at that point Haruka beggings were answered as a figure from behind the young man came into the light

"**Would you just shut the fuck up ?" **was screamed after that the young "man" was sent flying due to a kick to his back. The teen landed unconcious into a large garbage can never to be seen nor mentained in the story ever again.

"Did you really have to do that to the poor guy Tyler?" Keitaro said

"Do you have any idea what I had to go through to get here I sat next to this dude for over 14 hours, and he diddnt stop talking or play his crapy guiter the entire time"

so this was tyler, no kidding around he was the honest to goodness real one.

Like the the teen he just kicked about 20 feet away he was sbout 17 years of age, and that is all the similarities they shared. This man stood around 6 feet 5 inches tall and looked to be built like a tank,looking anywhere between 230 pounds to as high as 250 pounds with large arms and with very broud thick shoulders. He had dirty blonde hair that was cut short almost as if he recently had a buzz cut and it was just now starting to grow had a very masculine face, he was decent looking but not overly pretty like some boys, he had a goatee on his chin and a dark five o clock wore black combat boots, a pair of dessert camo pants, a black muscle shirt over that he had on what could be described as a combinination of a hunting jacket and a military jacket.

As he walked towards the two he litteraly engulfed Keitaro into a hug, lifting him off the floor like as if he was a child.

"Holy crap it's good to see you"

"Put me down put me down you over sized ape"

"oh I love you I love you I love you"

"this is starting to get weird now"

"you know you love it"

"if you don't let me go I'll scream rape"

with that Tyler drops him, after that he relises that he and Keitaro were not alone, he sees Haruka and instantly nows who she is, he goes to give her the same hug he gave Keitaro

"Auntie Haruka…" that is all he got to say before Haruka kicked him swiftly in the groin, as soon as her foot connects tyler goes down screaming in pain

"Son of a FUCK YOU"

"I hate it when that moron calls me aunt and we're actully related" Haruka screamed at

the downed Tyler

"maybe we should get out of here before secrurity shows" Keitaro said surveying the scene in front of him. Oh yeah this visit is going to be fun.


End file.
